ARTS & FARCES internet

Yesterday I specified the four events—a superfecta—that would render President Bush II Unelectable by Labor Day. While I stand by that assessment and feel it’s a pretty safe bet, there’s a dark horse that I forgot about that makes a trifecta a much safer bet; the closest to a sure thing I’ll probably ever see. Here’s how the perfect trifecta will mark the downfall of Shrub as the first installed ruler of the United States (in order of precedence):

1. The economy. That’s right, it’s still the economy, stupid. We’ve got the highest unemployment rate in 20 years and we’re facing a US$1.9 trillion in new debt by 2008 according to Bush’s own accounting department. The White House Office of Management and Budget reports, officially, that the budget deficit for this year alone will be a record US$455 billion. Next year’s is expected to be even worse, and that’s not even counting the costs of occupying Iraq. Like most of you, I have no concept of what a billion of anything is, but we all know a trillion is more. Someone told me they’re using their tax cut to save for a handgun. Of course it’s on a layaway plan.
2. His administration’s questionable veracity, ongoing secrecy, and belligerent stonewalling with regard to the intelligence and events surrounding the 11 September 2001 attacks. The families of the victims are just about into the anger stage by now. When they blow, they’re going to blow hard and they’re going to be looking in only one direction for answers. What did he know and when did he know it is going to take on a whole new meaning and significance.
3. His administration’s outright lies regarding the reasons for the doctrine of preemption and subsequent invasion of Iraq, the linking of the invasion with the events of 11 September 2001, the increasing number of American casualties—after Bush declared “victory” —with no end in sight, the Jessica Lynch fiasco, and the mounting cost of occupying a country that just refuses to lay down and die. None of this is going away.

A trifecta is a tough bet; no doubt about it. But my money’s on Shrub to pull the hat trick by Labor Day. There’s no question that it’s going to happen, the only sport left is the when. Nixon was a cheap and mean fourth-rate creep and incompetent burglar who bombed Cambodia. But he was a professional. Congress got him on the burglary and gave him a pass on everything else. How much of a chance do you think a rank amateur like the boy wonder Bush has? And that’s it in a nut. The Nixons and the Bushes of the world are too stupidly paranoid to be able to enjoy their winnings. Even when they’re on the top, instead of kicking back and enjoying it, they’re looking over their shoulders.